new plan

i haven’t been feeling particularly fantasyriffic lately nor have i been feeling particularly interested in sex.  that does appear to be fading but in the mean time i thought i would provide you with this piece of a post i wrote many moons ago.

the actual review is here and i never finished this post but it amuses me so here it is for you:

so i’m trying a toy

right now.

i have these penthouse variations ‘ball bangers’ in my cute white underwear and i’m writing this review while i try them. so far i’m not that excited. there’s a low setting and it’s just your standard vibrator feeling thing at a sort of reasonable speed. lovely for getting going with actually.

mid is a little juicier, i can feel a little reaction inside…

oh sorry i forgot to mention that i got bored and stuck one inside me.

so on the mid setting the ball on my clit is actually causing a reaction while the ball inside me is starting to make me twitch a little. so far it’s not going to make me orgasm but my panties are wet and my hips are twitching occasionally.

hi is disappointing somewhat. it’s not that different from mid although i do feel some new lubricant soaking it’s way into my panties. oh wait it is a little more intense and now i can feel my hips twitching relatively uncontrollably … think i’ll leave it here for a moment or two.

these could be a little bigger and could have a little more variation in the pattern. maybe two patterns and four speeds instead of just straight vibrate.

that said i do have some twitching happening and i can feel myself sucking the inside ball in more and more. body is arching too now. it’s almost like on hi it speeds up.

okay super.

deep breath.

hrm no noticeable difference at first. and after several minutes there still isn’t. i get a little bored and stuff the second ball inside me. i’m good and soaked that’s for sure, these will be great as pre-toys before i get into the big stuff.

phone’s ringing. i answer it and talk and my friend notices nothing. okay i don’t think this toy can get me off. i’m going to bed to try giving it some help. that said, if i were wanting to get going i would use these for sure, this is getting me nice and soaked and i would feel safe wearing these in a club because i know no one would be able to hear them. that idea just made me pant and twitch a little more.

oh my god, i have to wash these and take them to a bar with me somewhere and just see what happens. i’ll wear something with a long shirt over it. or maybe pants with a skirt on top and these inside my underwear. i try squeezing my legs together which makes the toy noisier and less effective. few inches apart is the way.

i remove the second ball from inside me and nestle them in around my clit and see if two together with my legs held some magical distance apart will do the trick. they are nestled into my sopping channel now and the one is making the other have an unpredictable vibration. oh god this is great.

i need a penis. my phallix slides home like a hot knife through butter and then i reposition the little darlings.

bed.

shock

i didn’t used to understand how a writer could be made uncomfortable by their own writing; i do now.

my previous post, gasp, popped from my forehead fully formed during a particularly frustrating day in traffic.  i couldn’t believe this thing that was writing itself in my head but i chose to honour it and write it down anyway. [if you have not yet read gasp please do so, you will know by the end of the third paragraph if you can bear it or not.]

is it made more disturbing or less by the fact that i ate lunch as i typed?

is it made more or less troubling by the fact that it took fewer than twenty five minutes to write and that long only because i was interuppted by the telephone several times as i typed?

what about if i tell you that while i was writing it i did not believe i was turned on at all but then, when i went to the bathroom, i found myself wet through?

i deliberately chose not to comment at all as the comments came in.  i wanted to see people’s reactions without benefit of my own colouring of the events as i saw them.

what intrigues me about the comments is the different interpretations you all put on what i thought was a very straight forward post.

let us be clear, that was rape with absolutely no consent whatsoever.  the victim did not know the rapist nor did she do anything but answer her door when it rang.  for me that was at least as important as what followed.

the true horror of the story, to my mind, lies in the forcing of her body to do his dirty work for him.  he slicked her up with her own juices and let HER body and her struggles pleasure him as he stood there with her wrists over her head.

so i wrote it, i was shocked, and then i waited to see what the fallout might be.

interesting to me that at least some of you consider this to have been one of my deepest fantasies.  it isn’t.

it was a post born of the road rage that becomes ever more common when trying to survive a trip anywhere in this city.  it was born of money worries and hidden angers and various other little things that all seem a little easier to take now that this little piece of nastiness has left my fingers.

i still fully believe that it was a post worth writing and a post worth sharing.  i wanted it to disturb you.  i wanted you to feel arousal and to be upset by it.  i don’t know why i wanted that but it seems to have been important.

furthermore i believed that the story was clearly non-consensual and yet at least one person considered it ravishment play.  or shared a ravishment story while recognizing that this was rape.  i’m not sure.  that’s the part that’s neat… we all react to things from our own worldviews and we don’t always see what to others is clear and present.

god i love human social behaviour.

tito, if it’s ANY consolation?  i don’t like the story either.

and then we get to the comment i was waiting for.

Holy fuck Girl! This just strips me down to nothing. The fabulous writing compensates for the uncomfortableness of the subject. Will I be stoned if I say part of me was turned on?

no.  no you won’t.  that’s exactly what i hoped would happen.

i wanted to twist perceptions and play with your minds a little.  make of horror something that was nonetheless arousing.  although i consider this tale to be nasty and awful i still think it’s hot.

and that, i guess, was the magic of it for me.  that’s what actually made it worth posting in spite of my own disgust at the behaviour of the man in question.

so i guess now i want to hear from you.  would you have posted it?  are you glad that i did?  if not why not?

gasp

just to be clear: the act of writing down a fantasy in no way implies the desire to see said fantasy fulfilled. there is no consent implied here nor do i in any way wish my partner or any other being to fulfill the following story with me or any other woman. that doesn’t make the FICTION of it any less hot.

and if you don’t understand the difference? please, i beg you, get counselling.

if you reprint the following without a disclaimer attached you are a sick fuck.

***

i come through the door like an incredibly powerful kick and am on her before she can so much as gasp. i feel her shock as i slam her against the wall and plant my mouth on hers.

she fights and this excites me more.

i feel her legs flail where i have them trapped between my own far more powerful ones and i feel her arms scratch at my back as my hands roam her body through her clothing.

her breath comes in sharp pants as she struggles for air through the punishing force of my mouth and i feel her shudder as my hands tear at her clothing. i tear her bra from her pert little breasts and begin pinching and rolling them between my fingers. i pinch hard and she whimpers.

they harden in spite of her.

her baggy trousers come off with a sweep and fall to trap her ankles even more effectively than my legs can do and i feel myself grow hard against her as her writhing sweeps the fabric of my trousers against my overheated skin.

she mewls and i stiffen still more, thrilling to the powerful erection i can’t wait to use on her.

her panties follow her trousers and i press my metal rod against her body and rub. i am not gentle but i am thorough and she mewls again as she realises my intent.

tired of her ineffective but irritating fingers raking against my back i take her hands and hold them above her head. it’s simple as i am much larger than she and her frail wrists press into the wall. she whines again into my mouth and again i ignore her.

my other hand travels to her exposed sex and i flick her tiny bud with my thumb. tears run from her eyes as i brutally bring her to orgasm and her whimpers into my crushing mouth threaten to make me spurt far too soon.

ruthlessly i fight my own libido and shove several fingers into her now moistened sex. my legs pin hers to the wall and i feel her muscles loosen in spite of herself as i tickle her g-spot.

rewarded with a gush of liquid i rip my suddenly far too tight pants down to my knees.

horror lights her eyes as she understands that i have used her own body to make my pleasure far easier. undaunted i take my throbbing erection into my hand and guide it to her entrance.

with one shove i pin her against the wall with my rock hard cock and feel her body shudder around me as she renews her fight. i stay there inside her, moving not at all and allow her struggles to slide her up and around and all over my erection.

her hands struggle against mine and i can hardly stand up the pleasure is so intense. my balls tighten and i fight the release coming as i ride her writhing body. i watch her face as i possess her and sear it into my soul to be brought out again and again in the nights ahead.

every kick, every buck, every gasp for breath heightens my pleasure until i can stand it no more and i feel the throbbing in my base that heralds upcoming release.

once, twice, thrice i spurt into her unwilling depths before stepping away from her to quickly return my pants to my hips. i drop her to the floor and look down at her, bleeding and broken and i consider staying for another round as my now spent phallus stirs in response.

tears run down her face as i stare at her there and i take three long breaths and again fix her image into my mind.

“thanks” i say casually as i zip my pants and turn on my heel to walk out the door.

tmi tuesday - a week late

TMI Tuesday #138

i didn’t grok that they post the questions on tuesday, i thought you had a week to think about them. regardless, this week’s questions are kinda lame and i just felt like doing these ones cause they’re cool. don’t expect this to be like a regular thing or anything.

1. If you’re in love with your partner, does it make the sex better?

yes and no. it makes it more intimate and somehow deeper into your soul or heart or whatever you might like to call it but it doesn’t necessarily make the sex better. sometimes the best sex is to be had with that guy you have the mad pheremones and no emotional connection with.

why?

because you have no emotional attachment to the sexual act with them and thus you are free to be your down and dirty bad self. free from fear and worry about judgement and any kind of guilt or bill you might attach.

that said? i pick love sex over pheremone sex at least 92% of the time…

further i believe that the longer the relationship and the more you strive to tell the truth the more the two kinds of sex come together.

2. What is the most expensive sex toy you’ve ever purchased?

i only ever bought the irabbit by doc johnson although my ex bought a vibrating cock ring for us once. anyway after that i got a toy testing gig and all my toys have been free (well except some duty issues on occasion.)

holy crap was the irabbit a waste of money, in fact i’ve since pitched it. if you want an expensive toy? pick the delight by fun factory or a phallix glass product or read all my reviews and a zillion more and pick for yourself.

3. If you knew ahead of time you would not have an orgasm, would you still have sex?

that’s the stupidest question i’ve ever heard. OF COURSE i would still have sex.

yeesh.

4. What celebrity would you most like to have sex with if given the chance?

drew barrymore

eliza dushku

anthony head as giles

dark wesley (shame on you if you don’t know who that is)

johnny depp if he showered…

oh was i supposed to pick just one?

5. Have you ever had sex while an audience watched?

only in my dirty dirty imagination… (see slats)

or not that i know of.

that said? i would dearly love to someday fulfill my fantasy of self-pleasuring while a ring of people masturbated around me…

Bonus (as in optional): Describe the best sexual encounter you’ve ever had.

you want me to pick just ONE????

just ONE???

*wanders off shaking head*

lightning

the air was still and heavy and filled with that pregnant electricity that only comes with certain kinds of thunderstorms. every time the sky crashed it was stained purple for long seconds afterwards and jagged flashes would fix themselves to the backs of my eyelids.

the expectation of it all enhanced an itch i hadn’t even noticed until i decided to scratch it. we talked for a few minutes while our energy reconnected but we both knew i wasn’t there for conversation. taking my shirt off kickstarted the evening and within seconds we were both naked and i had pushed him to the bed.

i climbed on top of him, knees on either side of his hips, nestled his already growing penis between my labia and perched there. i perched and played with myself while my juices flowed from my body and surrounded his penis.

his face was a study as he felt my finger fluttering against his growing cock, felt my juices drip and my hips begin to twitch. i began to rock just a little as my finger sped and sped some more.

my breath came in short pants and my head fell back as my eyes closed and shudders quaked through me.

he moaned when i gushed all over him.

leaning over i kissed him and took his now raging hard-on into my hands to guide it into my body. so ready that for once i could slide right down his shaft until we met at the roots we groaned together at the delicious completion of it.

i began to move, slowly at first and then faster and faster until we were both gasping with need. sadly my shoulders failed and we had to flip over. instantly he drove into me again and again until he was past reason and shudders wracked his frame; shudders and grunts as i felt him pulsate deep within my own quivering depths.

again he sped his pace and i gasped and rose to meet him once more; i lost count eventually of his orgasms but knew that mine had not yet reached their zenith.

“have a snack” i commanded and he laughed and kissed his way down my body to my insatiable pussy. his eager tongue licked and flickered and sucked as my hips ground up into his face; my body writhing in the grip of endless orgasm.

soon enough i wanted more but i knew that his cock was well nigh spent after his prodigious multiple orgasms of moments before. i hatched a plan:

“i want you to fuck me again” i ground out in a deep passion infused voice.

“i want to feel your hard cock ram into my throbbing wet pussy. don’t you want to feel me pulsing around you as i come and come and come?”

he groaned so i continued.

“come on, don’t you wish you were inside me right now? thrusting and driving into me? you could slam home in one fell swoop while i keep coming around your shaft.”

his hand traveled to his ever so slightly perkier looking penis as his mouth continued ravaging my starving pussy. encouraged i kept going “i want to wrap my legs around you and grind myself into your body while my pussy gushes all over your penis.”

“come on don’t you want to fuck me? hard and fast and wet? come on i know you do” i taunted and he growled and levered himself up onto his arms and stuffed me full with his nearly rock hard penis.

not just nearly for long that’s for sure!

he slid home and i moaned and we started to dance horizontally and he grew and grew inside me and his shaft fed the hunger in my ravenous pussy and i just kept coming around him and our eyes met and our lips locked and i lost track of time while we shuddered and pulsed and fucked each other senseless.

finally he groaned again and thrust into me one last time as his already spent cock spent itself inside me one last time.

“more snack” i commanded and he laughed but obeyed, both of us delighting in this unusually demanding side of me.

i cried out almost instantly as he lapped at my dripping pussy and my oversensitized clitoris and before too much time had elapsed i was spiralling into reaches i only rarely see. my body quaked and bucked and i made noises i didn’t know my body could make and finally, finally i dropped with a long drawn out moan to collapse, panting and used up all over the enormous puddle i’d made beneath my hips.

we laughed as we lay there spent but not sated.

finally, finally i dragged my ass from the bed and headed home (early work in the am) with our juices flowing uninhibited down my legs and lightning still raking the sky.

uhm whut?!?

so last night was a fairly typical evening in the life of my boyfriend and i; he came over here bearing food, we hung out, we tested a sex toy and we shagged.

incidentally i cannot stress enough how much this sex blog has done to keep my sex life healthy and active.  even if i don’t FEEL like shagging there’s toys to test and once i’m aroused there’s basically no stopping me so i end up fucking far more than i ‘feel’ like and my boyfriend, my relationship and i are the better for it.

not to mention that sex toys are just plain fun.

further incidentally, i read recently that a great date for long-term couples is sex toy shopping.  S’TRUTH!

but i digress, early in the evening during the hang-out phase i started cleaning up my space and my pilates equipment.  if i leave this while i go to bed my cats turn it into a playground and i can’t quite relax.  something about knowing there’s work in the morning makes it hard to chill out.  i happened to still be dressed in workout gear at the time.

to be clear my workout gear is in fact high end spandex or the equivalent dance or yoga wear; it is NOT a track suit.

so there i am bending over and reaching up and bending over and all sorts of things while wearing form fitting clothing and my boyfriend is watching me.  he informs me that i look totally hot bending over my equipment and petting the cat who is sitting on said gear.

i think nothing of this, he thinks i’m hot generally after all so i’m flattered but not surprised.

so the evening continues and we test a mediocre toy (too bad, it had great promise) and play in a rather traditional fashion and then we start to fuck.  we fuck for a while and he comes a few times and i can sort of tell he’s nearly done and then he does it.  he says to me “i’m fantasizing about you bending over earlier this evening” and i’m pretty much flabbergasted.

“you’re fantasizing about me dressed while you’re fucking me naked???” i goggle at him.  yup, uh-huh he is.

i so do not get this.

no, really i’m not being difficult, i just don’t get it.  on the rare occasions when i fantasize during sex play [usually when oral stimulation is getting a little stale but i'm still not quite coming and i want to] it’s to add another partner in my mouth or bum or to imagine the fucking i’m about to get or to tie imaginary ropes around my wrists or to add imaginary voyeurs and the like.

heck, sometimes i fantasize about getting my butt plug out of the drawer or maybe fucking my boyfriend with a strap-on and although both of those toys are ‘just over there’ i’m generally too blissed out to move.

i do NOT fantasize about my dressed boyfriend while sexing up my naked one.

you see what i’m saying here?

you’re naked and inside me right?  why on earth does my ass in spandex add to the pleasure?  isn’t my ass in spandex supposed to make you want me naked rather than my naked ass supposed to make you want it dressed?

it’s more interesting still that he’s saying this whilst fucking AND while holding my ass super tight so he can drive as deeply inside me as it’s possible for him to go.  possibly as deep as i get since every now and then i feel like he hits my ends.

anyway this has me super curious, so whether you’re female or male or transgendered or gay or hetero or not at all sure can you comment?  tell me what you fantasize about when you’re fucking or masturbating or what your partner admits to fantastizing about?

pretty please??

thanks!

review: sportsheets penetration station

do you have ANY idea how hard it was NOT to call this post:

last stop: penetration station!

or something equally funny/cheesy? damn hard that’s how hard it was!

*clears throat* but i digress; the fine people at babeland sent me the sportsheets penetration station to review and i must confess that i was and was not immediately sold on it.

the concept is fantastic and i was so excited to try it EXCEPT that you have to take this lovely timeout to slide gear on your bed before you can do anything. effectively the penetration station is a loop that goes around your mattress that has straps that come up and down from it. two that come over the head of the mattress and two that come from below.

i found this pic on the net:

each of those straps have an attachable loop and are adjustable. the bed loop is also adjustable but does have an inherent flaw; the straps detach from the loops with clips but the bed loop is more of a buckle so you can adjust but not undo. too bad because otherwise the whole thing could just tuck under the mattress and be whipped out at will. instead you have to lift the mattress and slide it on every time. [the packaging suggests that you can leave it on the bed but that would irritate me to no end.]

truly i don’t get that because why do the loops clip on if the whole thing doesn’t clip together? tragic really, it’s the only flaw in an otherwise perfect toy.

i didn’t love it the first time we tried it although i enjoyed it. we played missionary style and i ended up using it mostly as a bondage toy. in other words, i stuck my thighs in one set of loops and grabbed the other ones in my hands and sort of trapped myself with them. since i love being tied up i enjoyed the limited feeling but i don’t believe i adjusted the thing that well and mostly i just found it annoying and not that helpful. i’m pretty sure that with a little more patience i could have the thing set up to be a lot more helpful.

and then.

and then i tried it doggie style. can i just say that i have never been more grateful for my ‘if you don’t love it try it twice’ rule?

oh my GOD! that thing is made for doggie style. i rested on my elbows with two pillows under my chest (good trick if you’re shoulder challenged fyi) and stuck the straps around my upper arms (like the ones she has in her hands) and he grabbed the over the head of the bed ones in his hands and off we went and wow.

did i mention wow?

he set a new record for number of times he came in one session and i was having so much more fun than usual. i love doggie style except for the part where my face gets mashed into the bed and i get fucked into the wall and then sort of bend as i try not to give myself a concussion whilst fucking.

this problem is COMPLETELY solved by the penetration station. completely. he gets something solid to pull on and she gets something solid to brace on and suddenly you can fuck without carpet burn! it’s fantastic and easy and doubles or triples your staying power and still i haven’t done it justice.

for that alone the penetration station would go in my toybox of fame forever but i like it more because the whole thing fits into a medium sized purse and the packaging is minimal. the straps are canvas and the clips are plastic for easy cleaning and the loops are super comfy neoprene that can be wiped down. [not that this is the kind of toy one gets particularly messy but still.]

even better? it comes with a SUPER cheesy DVD you can use for suggestions of use and to find other great sportsheets products. i’m eyeing up the velcro sheets already…

other than that one missing clip? this toy is about perfect.

nine out of ten plus the badinfluencegirl seal of approval.

***

anyone want to design the seal for me?

when in doubt…

so mr. big has several posts that he quite likes. and by quite likes what i mean is “uses to masturbate” along with several photos of me that are on facebook or whatever.

i asked him to give me a list of favourite posts and he has; following that i’ll link a few of my favourites and that will be that so… without further ado, i present: mr. big!

*

The thing I like best is reading about things my lover has done…Whether or not they were with me…Interestingly, I don’t seem to be have very much jealousy, if at all of BadInfluenceGirl’s previous exploits/activities. This may be in part because I dealt with a lot of that with my ex-wife, but probably more because I trust BIG so much. :D

But as I said, my favourites are generally the parts of stories that my lover has actually done. Maybe it’s the pleasure in others’ pleasure, maybe it’s the idea of having someone warm your lover up for you, I don’t know…

All I know for sure is that Haagen Daas Strawberry ice cream, with or without cut-up bananas is to die for.

At the top of the list:
sorry guys i stopped to make out
I especially like the imagery with the public nudity and making out. This post is often an anchor that other stories I read will remind me of, and it helps me put my lover in other similar situations in my fantasies.

halloween

We had a lot of fun pretending to not know each other, and ‘introduce ourselves’ at a party we both went to. Amazingly, some of the people there thought we just met that evening. I think we will do more in this vein. :D [note: this post is not about that party... but does evoke it somewhat... in fact this post happened before he and i met]

On a slightly different note, there’s something about the fantasy of your lover going home with someone else, the frissons that they will come back changed, somehow, the large amount of trust that you place in them, and whomever they went with.

Somewhat related to:
unexpected

Little pieces:
review fun factory delight
love affair
There’s something about penetration, and reading about your lover loving it. I like it myself, but it never seems as good or easy or _necessary_.

This was fun: :D
boing
boing 2

[yes, yes it was]

I continue to have fantasies about…
for
But BIG will have to tell you that story…

[mmm yes, yes i will... anytime now really]

And the first part of this story:
pool hall 1

-MrBig

***

i have a couple i quite love that aren’t on his list and i’ve decided that any post that was fleshbotted doesn’t need to be revisited… ’sides you can find those here

this one is my first post even but also awesome:

fresh breeze

i’d forgotten about this one:

recognition

this was written for someone who asked… and is my (so far) only boy on boy:

dream

still love this one:

redwoods

oooohhhh non-con

stalling

last but not least:

slats

***

enjoy!

(ps if one of these inspires you to do or write something let me know! the writing is easy, the ideas are hard!)

flashes

[i'm sorry you guys, i haven't been well... don't worry i'm fine but the blog fell down a little... back now though!]

[[plus?? LOOK LOOK Jane likes me!]]

there’s this place down the street that i see every time i drive by it and every time i see it i get a little flash, an image if you will:

i see the flat grass of the landscaped mound with little trees and a path blazing the way. my headlights pass across the stone cliff climbing up and away from it and i imagine. i imagine that i take you there and have my way with you.

in the flash of my headlights i see a muscular back rearing up and a shock of dark hair with skin gleaming in the lights; heels wrapped around and linked at the base of your back.

or two bodies, entwined, glimpsed too fast to discern who belongs to what and reduced to nothing but a tangle of limbs and shining skin.

perhaps a piston driving from behind and a back flexing to receive the gift being presented to it. hands holding hips as one body drives another home and a head rears up to cry out in the darkness.

i can feel the stone of the cliff digging into my back and my hands scrabbling for handholds as your mouth worships at my splayed junction and breath comes in guttural groans.

hanging my head off the mound as your throbbing phallus makes me moan and weep and gag and my mouth sucks hungrily and pulses around your raging cock.

head thrown back to commune with the moon as i ride your bucking body and you thrust into me until i quiver and scream.

seated on a stone, legs splayed wide to receive you even as arousal spirals at the rampant disrespect of fucking on someone’s grave; thrilling to the forbidden pleasure of it as i feel my juices soak the carved stone beneath me.

you know, flashes.

biblio meme

the lovely Gillette tagged me for bookish fun and games:

The Rules:

1. Pick up the nearest book.
2. Open to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the next three sentences.
5. Tag a few people.

had I done this anytime in the last month I could have picked up either a Dresden File by Jim Butcher or a Retrieval Artist by Kristin Kathryn Rusch because i just read both series’ in their entirety [not counting anything in hardcover that isn't available in paperback yet]… but no, i had to pick today…

today i’m reading “Getting the Love You Want - A Guide for Couples” by Harville Hendrix PhD and i confess that i can’t believe how good the damned thing is!

my sister handed me this book and suggested that i read it.. since she said it about five minutes after my boyfriend and i had our first major trouble i was willing to listen…

anyway it’s awesome, here’s the three sentences [since it's mid-sentence at the top of the page i picked my favourite three sentences of the two possibilities]:

“My wife, Helen, and I faithfully perform the same exercise that I assign my clients, and the Reromanticizing exercise is one that we have done so many times it has become integrated into our relationship: it’s something we do without thinking. One of the things that I ask Helen to do for me is to turn down the covers before we go to bed. This request comes from an experience I had over forty years ago.”

reromanticizing is an exercise whereby you ‘fake’ the behaviour of early courting. he has found through experience that getting couples to do nice things for each other without keeping score helps to get them feeling more connected and friendly toward each other…

anyway, fascinating stuff…

i tag:

brainiac chick

loving annie

and A. Secret because hell yeah i want to know what lives beside their beds…